Most Halloween monsters can’t stand candy! Vampires lust for blood. Zombies chomp at the brain. Ghouls fiendishly feast on fresh and funky corpses. The bright red paprika and meaty chunks in a Hungarian Ghoulash will satisfy the most distinguished demon panging for your vital vittles. Bubble and brew a large cauldronful for your next posthumous potluck.

Hungry Ghoul Hungarian Ghoulash

SERVES 6 GHOULS 

6 slices of bacon, chunks

3 onions, diced

1 potato, grated

1 glass of red or white wine

1L Tomato purée

600g Beef or pork, cubed

1 tsp Caraway seeds

2 Tbsp Hungarian (sweet) paprika

1 Tbsp Spanish (smoked)  paprika

2 cloves of garlic, grated

¼ cup curly parsley, finely chopped

salt and pepper to taste

Sour cream, optional

INGREDIENTS

Get a large pot (preferably one that has a lid) on the stove over medium heat.

Pile in your bacon and cook it until it gets nice and crispy. Remove crispy bacon with a slotted spoon and put it on a papertowel lined plate. Make sure you leave as much fat in the pan as possible. Hide the bacon from wandering ghouls.

Chuck in the diced onion and cook until they are lovely and caramelized.

Add the grated potato and stir it all about.

Deglaze the pan with wine and use a good wooden spoon to scrape up all the crusty bits stuck to the pan.

Add the tomato purée, caraway seeds and garlic. Bring the pot to a bubble over high heat and then reduce the heat to very low. Pile in the meat and stir it all about.

It’s kind of unusual to add the meat in without browning it, but the results are a nice juicy tender meat.

Cover the pot and cook over low heat for 2 hours, stirring occasionally.

When it’s done and the meat is nice and tender and the paprika and season with salt and pepper to taste.

Let the stew rest off the heat for 30 minutes before you scoop out a sloppy bowlful of gruesome slop with some creamy sour cream and a scattering of parsley and crispy bacon.

Like most stews, this ghoulash improves overnight.

It’s close to midnight and something evil’s lurking in the dark… Evil Pumpkin Zombies!

EPZ are brought to life when an evil Halloween spirit enters a carved pumpkin and awakens an unnaturally evil appetite for candy. The pumpkins will roll around attacking anyone for their candy!

If you are threatened by an EPZ, you will need to destroy it or it will not stop until all your candy is eaten.

To ensure an EPZ is thoroughly destroyed or to prevent your pumpkin from becoming possessed here is a great soup recipe that will exorcize the evil spirits and give you something yummy to eat other than candy.

INGREDIENTS

Pumpkin (any size)

drizzle of oil

sprinkle of salt

1 onion, diced

salt to taste

pesto

2 cloves of garlic

10 sage leaves

1 bunch of parsley

½ cup of olive oil (or pumpkin seed oil if you can find some)

2 cups of toasted pumpkin seeds (store-bought or homemade)

zest and juice of 1 lemon

salt to taste

PROCEDURE

SMASH your pumpkin into large chunks and place them in a large roasting pan. Use a baseball bat as needed or simply use your hands to feverishly tear it apart.

ROAST the pumpkin parts at 350˚F for an hour or until they are soft and golden around the edges. Put a cup of water in the pan to help things cook better.

PULVERIZE the pesto ingredients in a blender or food processor until smooth. Scrape down the sides if needed. Add more oil if it is too chunky. This pesto will keep in the fridge for a couple weeks and is really good in pasta, mashed potatoes and on roasted squash of any kind.

SCRAPE the roasted pumpkin meat away from the skin and place into a bowl.  Discard the skin.

FIRE up a large pot on the stove and sweat your onion in a little cooking oil. Cook until tender and translucent.

PLOP the pumpkin into the pot with the onions.

DROWN the ingredients with enough water to cover.  Bring to violent boil.

BLITZ the heck out of the soup with a hand blender until totally smooth. Taste it and add more salt to taste.

GOBBLE down a big bowl full topped with a scoop of pesto smack dab in the middle.

Open your mind to a meal where Brussel Sprouts are not just a holiday obligation. Break through the tightly packed layers of negative feelings wrapped around a deep-rooted core of sulfurous mental anguish. Cut to the core of the problem and breakdown your sprout into leaves for faster cooking, which results in bright green colour and no sulfurous compound flavour development. It will blow your mind wide open to a whole new level of Brussel Sprout consciousness.

PS… maybe you saw this Brussels Sprout video on Breakfast TV on Thanksgiving.

Green ‘Curry’ Brussels sprouts

Serves 4 for dinner

10 brussel sprouts

600g of ground pork or turkey

1/2 can of canned coconut milk

2 big scoops of green curry paste*, or more to taste

3 green onions sliced

1 cup of short grain or Sushi rice

2 ½ cups water

pinch of salt 

* Curry Paste

2 Jalapeno peppers or 1 habanero (very spicy), stem and seeds removed

1 big chunk of ginger

1 bunch of mint, leaves only

1 bunch of cilantro, leaves and soft stems

1 bunch of basil, leaves and soft stems

½ cup vegetable oil

½ cup rice wine vinegar

juice & zest of 2 limes

pinch of salt

Get the rice on. Pour the water into a small pot, add rice and salt and place over high heat, as soon as it comes to a bubble, reduce the heat to low and place a lid on top, cook for 15 minutes remove from the heat and let the rice rest for 10 minutes before serving.

This is not a traditional green curry recipe, but it’s super delicious and it will last in the fridge for 1 week. This makes a big batch, so you can use the leftovers to scoop into soup, mix into scrambled eggs or mixed with mayo and spread on a sandwich.

To make the curry you’ll probably want to use a food processor, if you use a blender you may have to add more oil to get the flow going. In the food processor start by blitzing together the zest & juice of the lime with the ginger, jalapeno, oil and vinegar. Blend until the ginger is nicely pureed. Add the mint, basil and cilantro. Blitz the mix, scraping down the sides as needed until the mixture is consistent but not totally smooth.

Get the rice on. Pour the water into a small pot, add rice and salt and place over high heat, as soon as it comes to a bubble, reduce the heat to low and place a lid on top, cook for 15 minutes remove from the heat and let the rice rest for 10 minutes before serving.

Use a pairing knife to prep your Brussels sprouts. Point the tip of your knife at an angle into the base of the sprout to cut out the cone shaped core. Check out the photo on the side. Once you’ve got the solid core removed you can pull the sprout apart and into individual leaves. Pile those leaves into a bowl and discard the cores. It takes a couple tries to get the whole core so you can pull it all apart, but finding spiritual enlightenment takes practice.

Get a very large pan or pot on medium high heat and leave it for 5 minutes to warm up.

When the pan is hot add the oil and immediately start putting in little quarter sized bits of ground meat. Space them out so they get a chance to brown, When the pork or turkey is brown on one side, stir it all up and add the Brussel Sprouts. Cook for 3-4 minutes, tossing everything occasionally. Aren’t they turning a lovely green colour?

Add the coconut milk and cook for 1 minute. Remove from the heat and add the curry, stir to distribute the curry. Taste it. Does it need salt or more curry paste? Add some until it tastes perfect.

Serve a steamy scoop of rice in a bowl with a big scoop of saucy sprouts on top. Make sure you get enough of the creamy tangy sauce.

Did you just watch Breakfast TV Calgary? Thanks for checking out the recipe…

Click the pic to go watch the video at Breakfast TV Calgary…

If you have more mouths to feed, check out the Lazy Loafer’s Meatloaf.

TURKEY PATTIES

300g ground turkey

1 egg

¼ cup  crumbled crackers, raincoast crisps rosemary, raisin, pecan

½ tsp poultry seasoning or assorted fresh minced herbs (parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme)

salt and pepper

vegetable oil or duck fat for frying

Get a large frying pan on the stove over medium heat to warm up.

In a medium bowl combine ground turkey with crackers, poultry seasoning and egg. Mush it up really well with your hands. If you want to check it for flavour and seasoning, just pick a little bit out and fry it til it’s cooked and taste it. Add more salt, pepper or seasoning if required.

Divide the mess into 2 large patties or 4 small patties.

Pour some oil in the hot pan and place the patties in gently. Fry until it gets a crispy brown bottom, then flip it over and cook until it’s done. Set it aside to rest while you whip up the Brussels sprouts.

BRUSSEL SPROUTS

4 slices of bacon, chunked

10 brussel sprouts

1 clove of garlic, grated

zest and juice of 1 orange

a few craisins or dried cherries

nob of butter

salt and pepper to taste

Get a large frying pan over medium high heat and pile in 4 slices of bacon cut into small chunks. Fry the bacon until crispy, then remove, but leave as much of the fat in the pan as possible. Crank up the heat and toss in 10 Brussel Sprouts that have been pulled apart into just the leaves and one whole clove of garlic. Add the zest and the juice of 1 orange (or ¼ cup of OJ), a few craisins, a nob of butter and swirl until it makes a nice creamy sauce. Season with salt and pepper and serve with crispy bacon on top.

CARROT COINS

2 carrots, cut into coins

2 Tbsp butter

1 large nob of ginger, grated

1 tsp honey, optional

salt to taste

Place a small pot over low heat. Pile in the carrots, butter and ginger. Place a lid on top and cook for 15-20 minutes until the carrots are tender and the butter creates a lovely orange sauce. Season with salt and serve.

Recap from the French Twist collaborative cooking class with Jessie Willis of  VineArts.

Jessie was absolutely fantastic to work with. He is passionate and full of energy and knowledge without the slightest hint of winey pretention.  Look for Jessie to dominate the Cookbook Company calendar this fall with classes about beer, wine and other spirits.

Also keep your eye on this young guy as he climbs the wine ranks in Calgary with his own wine shop opening (hopefully) later this year.

Photos are courtesy of a class volunteer (thank you) who very graciously helped serve while simultaneously taking snaps of the food. They may be a little grainy but you’ll get the idea…

Petite Tarte Flambée

with fresh apple, crème fraiche and bacon hollandaise, chives and bacon bits

Clam Chowdére

Potato velouté with sautéed chowder accoutrements: chorizo, mirepoix, tomato concasser, clams, parsley, etc.

Quail au vin

red wine reduction, bouquet grandmere, pistou

Pommes Frites (apple fritters)

Grand Marnier chocolat chaud with Cloven whipped cream

Jessie appears to have had his way with this one already…

The parsley was looking straight vibrant after a huge deluge.

Mezmerised by the little sparkly green emerald of water on the leaves I thought it a little insulting to consider parsley as a lame plate garnish. It’s got jade deposits of chlorophyll that brighten up the flavour and colour of a plate, of your food, of your disposition.

Here’s a light, bright dish to replenish your chlorophyll after the  rain storm.

Chuck a couple good sausages (These are Spragg’s Meat Shop Bangers) in a cast iron pan over medium low heat. Might as well toss a jalapeno in there like they do at Charcut. Meanwhile get the tomato salad going with some halved cherry tomatoes tossed with a buncha green stuff from the garden like little bits of parsley, pea shoots,  arugula, chives, thyme, whatever you can find. Or just keep it simple with the parsley.

Giver a good pinch pinch of salt (something grey and possibly from the French sea), some cracked pepper. Toss it about and get it on a plate with the sausages whenever the get around to being cooked.

The multifaceted sweet potato can easily turn the tables on taste because it is delicious and healthy. The dark orange flesh is lusciously jammy and chock full of nutrients like beta carotene, calcium and loads of good stuff. Also, it can be enhanced with marshmallows, brown sugar or maple syrup they make a great side dish… or even a tasty dessert. This batata* tatin is a clever new look at a sweet potato pie that you can enjoy as a side dish for dinner with roast chicken or as dessert with whipped cream. Makes you wish you had an extra mouth.

batata* tatin

1 package of frozen puff pastry

½ cup maple syrup

½ cup butter

2-3 large sweet potatoes

really big pinch of cinnamon to taste

Check the package directions for the puff pastry, as it may require a couple hours of defrosting. Thaw the dough before starting the sweet potatoes.

Peel and cut the sweet potatoes into 4 rounds. Place the rounds on their flat side and quarter them.

Whip out a good 10—12 inch oven proof pan (all metal, no plastic). A cast iron would be ideal.

Get the pan over medium heat and melt the butter with the maple syrup.

Once everything is melted start filling the pan with chunks of sweet potato. Make sure all the sweet potatoes are snuggly fit into the pan. Cook the sweet potatoes over medium heat for 15 minutes, flip them over and continue cooking while you roll out the puff pastry.

Dust the top of the potatoes with plenty of cinnamon.

On a well floured surface, roll out the pastry into a 13 inch (approximate) circle, can be trimmed using a sharp pairing knife. Fold the circle of pastry in half and half again to make it easy to pick up and lift onto the pan. Place the dough point in the center and unfold the pastry so it covers the pan. Fold the over-hanging sides in like you’re tucking the sweet potatoes into bed.

Get it into the oven quickly and bake at 400˚F for 45 minutes.

When it is done, let it rest for 10 minutes before holding a cutting board tightly on top and flipping the whole thing over as fast as you can.

Knock on the pan three times for good luck, then take the pan away and cut into wedges. If any bits stick to the pan, pick them off and put them back in their spot.

Serve as a side dish with roast chicken and sautéed spinach or for dessert with toasted pecans and some sweetened vanilla whipped cream.

* A potato by any other name would not taste as sahweeeeet! European botanists made some misnomers with plants coming from the New World. Sweet potatoes (indigenously called batatas in Barbados) were introduced to Europe by Chris Columbus on his first voyage. 200 years later potatoes (indigenously called papas in Peru) came over and started getting called patata, which led to potato and subsequently sweet potato.

Looks like Canadian Beef is having a little contest to see who can come up with the best recipe using Canadian beef. The winner gets to head south to the Eat,Write, Retreat.

Here is a truly Kitchen Scraps inspired recipe with animated story…

The Bird and the Turd: A Cautionary Tale

Once upon a time in the great white northern Canada, there was a little bird who was a big jerk. Not only did he call the other birds fowl names, he told them that flying south was a stupid idea. They were more than happy to leave without him.

The little bird was overjoyed to be on his own. But he had never been in the north for the winter, so he was unprepared when a snowstorm hit, blew him from his nest, and deposited him into a snowbank two miles down the road.

All he could do was shiver and wait to die.

When a thoughtful cow spotted the shivering bird, she wanted to help the poor thing. She turned around, lifted her tail, and dropped a hot steamy pile of relief right on top of the bird’s head. Wasn’t that a nice cow?

The moment it dawned on the bird that he was covered in cow plop, he jumped up and let out a torrent of sailor-calibre slurs. The poor cow, who was only trying to help, decided to walk away, but the bird kept on fiercely cussing.

A curious cat came along to see what all the flapping was about.

The turd-head bird told the cat his sad story. The cat seemed sympathetic and offered to help. He took the little yapper back to the farmhouse and rinsed him clean in a warm soapy bird bath . . . before promptly gobbling him down.

Morals of the Story

1. Someone who craps on you doesn’t necessarily mean you any harm.

2. Someone who hauls you out of crap isn’t necessarily looking out for your best interests.

3. Just because someone gives you a recipe that looks like a pile of crap on a plate, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to taste like crap.

AND FINALLY, THE RECIPE…

Steak and Mushroom Cowpie

30 brown button mushrooms (cremini), quartered

2 Tbsp kosher or sea salt

2 lb stewing beef or chuck steak, cut into 1-inch cubes

vegetable oil for the pan, up to 2 Tbsp for onions

3 Tbsp flour

1 onion, chopped

2 cups beef broth

1 cup Guinness

1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce

pinch of nutmeg

salt and pepper

1 package frozen puff pastry, defrosted (read the instructions—some take about 2 hours to defrost)

PROCEDURE

In a big pot over medium-high heat, heat some oil and start to brown the cubed beef in small batches, removing the beef when it is browned onto a large plate or casserole dish. The meat doesn’t need to be cooked through, just browned on the outside for flavour. After you have browned all the beef, brown little batches of the mushrooms, and then transfer to the same dish as the beef.

Reduce the heat to medium, pour in some oil if the drippings don’t amount to about 2 Tbsp, and cook the onion until it is translucent, about 5 minutes. Sprinkle in the flour evenly and mix it up a bit with a wooden spoon. Crank the heat to full blast and throw in the beef broth and the Guinness. Scrape the sticky bits off the bottom of the pan. Now add all the previously browned beef along with their juices, and the mushrooms, Worcestershire sauce, nutmeg, and salt and pepper. Drop the heat to low, cover and simmer for at least 2 hours.

In the meantime roll out the puff pastry to 1/2 inch thick. Using a round cookie cutter cut out at least 6 rounds of dough, and bake them according to the package’s instructions, timing it until you are ready to serve.

To serve, ladle out the pie “pie” into shallow bowls and top with a piece of flaky fresh-from-the-oven puff pastry.

It’s as easy as pie . . . actually, it’s easier.

Serves 6 close friends.

Crusty Topper

It may be crustless on the bottom, but you can still call it a pie. Making puff pastry from scratch is a lot of work and it takes some practice . . . so I like to skip all that and just get the frozen stuff. Nothing to feel guilty about. It bakes up nicely and makes a great topper for this pie.

The ancient Bolognese (Bo-lo-nyay-zay) style of single-handed swordplay was crafted and mastered in the rough and rugged town of Bologna, Italy. It is an effective way to render any opponent into minced meat. On the other hand, the Bolognese style of pasta sauce is a tasty way to turn any minced meat (preferably not an opponent, unless it’s a pig or a cow) into a thick flavourful ragu. Either, or both, are a great way to settle the argument about what’s for dinner.

Bolognese meat sauce

2 Tbsp vegetable oil

1 onion, finely diced

1 carrot, finely diced

2 ribs of celery, finely diced

1 glass red wine

2 cloves of garlic

1 small can (156ml) of tomato paste

1-14 oz can of tomato purée

1 cup of unsalted beef or chicken stock

1 tsp dried, ground fennel seed

½ tsp ground cloves

1 pound ground beef, pork, chicken, veal, turkey or moose

2 large spicy Italian sausages, uncooked, removed from the casing

Salt, at the end of cooking to taste

500g of dried spaghetti or rigatoni

pinch of salt

½ bunch of chopped fresh parsley

fresh cracker pepper

really good olive oil

Get a large pot on the stove over medium high heat.

When the pot is hot, pour in the oil and wait for 10 seconds until it’s hot. Now add the onions and carrots. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring around occasionally until the carrots and onions get really nice and caramelized.

If some spots in the pot start to get really dark and a bit burnt you can pour some cold water on that spot and then carry on cooking the rest of the onions and carrots.

Add the finely minced celery and crank up the heat to full tilt. Pour in the wine and boil it until the boozey smell evaporates, about 2 minutes. Add the stock, garlic, fennel, cloves, tomato paste and stir it all up until smooth.

Reduce the heat to simmer and add all the meat in small chunks. Stir the meat all about, doing your best to mash it up into the tiniest little specs you can manage. It should be a consistently chunky mess.

Pop a lid on top and simmer for 1 hour. Stir it about every 10 minutes. Remove the lid and determine if the sauce is thick enough. It should be quite a thick ragu.

To make the pasta, bring a big pot of salty water to a boil. Add the pasta and cook check the package for cooking time, probably 8 minutes. Drain the pasta and immediately toss in the Bolognese sauce, tossing to coat.

If it is not thick enough, simply turn up the heat to medium and cook until the liquid reduces. If it’s too thick, add some of the pasta water.

When it reaches you desired thickness taste it and add salt until it tastes perfect. If you add salt too early and the sauce reduces, the sauce can become too salty.

Serve up four piping hot bowls and make sure you top everyone’s pasta with the meaty bits that settle to the bottom.

Top with loads of pepper, fresh chopped parsley and a drizzle of good olive oil.

FOR ALL KINDS OF EXTRA INFO ON BOLOGNESE

CHECK OUT THE NEW SWERVE WEBSITE

Everybody goes a little cuckoo-crazy this time of year.The days grow shorter, colder and more dreary, and the decreasing amount of sunlight has a negative effect upon our mental fitness. You either need a trip to Hawaii or some comfort food to keep your spirits up through our long winters. Sadly, tropical vacations may now be out of reach financially (how’s that RRSP doing?), but the cure for our Seasonal Affective Disorder state can be found within the skin of the plentiful, and pennywise, winter squash.

Don’t let that tough, seemingly impenetrable exterior stop you. People fear what lies beneath that hard shell, which is a shame because beneath its gruff exterior this perfect fall veggie is a gold mine of nutritionally dense complex carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals. What’s more, it’s crazy delicious.

To conquer your squash phobia, you must first put down those out-of-season Mexican strawberries and pick up a gourd. Choosing a squash is easier than you think. For the most part, they’re immune to manhandling and can easily survive the short truck ride from the farm to our local markets and stores. Don’t worry about surface scratches or dirt; you won’t be eating the skin, so just make sure there are no gashes or soft bruises. Load up on a variety of squash now and if you store them in a cool dark spot, they’ll last all winter and probably most of next year.

Deciding which to choose is the least of your worries. From the gnarly skinned hubbard to the elegant delicata and the smooth, familiar pumpkin, gourds all have something special to offer. And don’t worry about what to do with them. There are many ways to cook a squash: puréed in soup, spiced in a tagine, cooked into risotto or baked in a pie.

This brings us back to the real root of our fears: people are most afraid of what they can’t see. To combat that, take our fall-vegetable Rorsquash test, a series of photographs of seemingly randomly squashed squash that are designed to trigger your innermost dining desires. Based upon what you see in these photos, you’ll be able to figure out your squash personality, and through that, unlock the secret to a veggie feast and a SAD-free fall.

Butternut squash

Figure No. 1: You see the remains of an orange-fleshed acrobat that fell from a tightrope to its doom

You must be eating way too many nuts, because you are what you eat. To get back on track, you need to switch to toasted pumpkin seeds.

First, gut your squash by cutting it in half and scooping out the insides. Free the seeds from the gunky stuff and place them in a bowl. Pour in a little oil to coat, and add plenty of salt and some seasoning like paprika or cinnamon. Evenly distribute the seeds on a parchment-lined baking sheet and toast at 160 °C (325 °F) until they are crispy and delicious. Scrape them into a bowl to cool and pick up the phone; sharing the seeds can help you make some meaningful connections with well-adjusted humans who simply don’t see what you do in this photo.

Acorn squash

Figure No. 2: You see roasted squash swimming in butter and salt

You over-complicate your life with meaningless pursuits when you should be trying to simplify things.

Take any winter squash and cut it in half or quarters. Scoop out the seeds and set them aside for roasting. In a deep baking dish, toss in the squash pieces and pour in a cup of water. Tightly cover the dish with foil and put it in a 175 °C (350 °F) oven. After 45 minutes, remove the foil and check for doneness. The squash is cooked when the flesh is tender and you can pull it easily away from the skin with a spoon. Serve hot, with loads of cold butter and plenty of salt.

Delicata squash

Figure No. 3: You see a colourful squash salad

You are restless and can not easily find satisfaction with the ordinary. Clearly, you are tired of the same old cold-weather comfort food and long for brighter flavours.

Select a thin-skinned squash, such as delicata or small pumpkin, so you’ll be able to eat the skin when it is roasted. Slice the squash into rounds or wedges, remove the seeds and place the pieces on a baking sheet. Lubricate generously with oil and season with thyme or rosemary and plenty of salt.

Bake the squash at 175 °C (350 °F) until it is tender and has developed some golden-brown colour. Remove the squash from oven and let it cool slightly. Plate the warm chunks or wedges and top with wedges of fresh tomato, whole pitted black olives, grated Parmesan cheese, strips of prosciutto and a splash of lemon juice or balsamic vinegar. Finish with a drizzle of dark-green pumpkin-seed oil for a surprising aromatic effect.

Buttercup squash

Figure No. 4: You see a bowl of hot, creamy Squash soup

Your life is in shambles, your house is a chaotic mess of disorganization and you crave order.

Use a butternut, buttercup or hubbard squash and roast it according to the instructions above. Scoop out all the flesh and place it in a blender. Cover with warm water and blend until velvety smooth. (Add more water if necessary.) Pour into a pot and slowly heat it through. Add salt to taste, some grated ginger and a knob of cold butter. Serve in a sparkling white bowl with a little dollop of sour cream and fresh cracked pepper. Savour the smooth simplicity.